Long time no see...
So...it has been quite a while since I have blogged. Mea Culpa. There is no excuse.
Let me gear up for more regular posts. Let me talk about a few things...Mani/Pedi's and Patty's.
So'z yesterday I decided was a "me" day. Started off with 6 loads of laundry...been a while for that too! After 4 hours of wash, rinse and repeat I was finally done and STARVING. I thought I'd hit my favorite Brekky spot - The Pine Inn on Polk. Ok, the only reason they are my favorite is because they have hash browns and not under-cooked, paprika colored potatoes and that they serve biscuits and gravy. They do a pretty good waffle too...not one of those Belgian-y air puffs but a real, thin and crispy, nooky and cranny-y honest to god waffle. I normally get bacon...but wanted the other morning favorite - sausage. I love sausage in all forms but I adore sausage patties. I ordered my B & G with hash browns and two eggs, over easy and a sausage patty. "What?', Nancy asked. 'You know, a patty of sausage', I furthered. "Oh, we don't have that." OH NOES! That one refusal led me on a quest for Sausage Patties. I called 15 Breakfast Joints and found only one that served a Patty...but it was a VEGGIE sausage patty! WTF! That is why I implore you to write your local congressman and help me get the return of that perfectly golden brown, greasy patty of porky goodness back on our plates!
Undaunted by my patty-less breakfast I set out to my bi-monthly ablution; my Mani/Pedi. Yes, I get a mani/pedi every 2 weeks. EVERY man should. People hate ugly hands and nails...but moreover EVERYONE hates ugly feet. My usual place was closed for vacation so I decided to try one on Polk and Pacific...Union Nalis.
Well, I guess I was either the first man to ever ask for a mani/pedi there or the biggest man they have ever seen. I am leaning towards the former. This is a big place. 7 Pedi spas and each one had a Mani stand right next to it. All Full. They asked me to sit. I did and instantly 4 of them rose and huddled in a corner occasionally looking back at me. I swear to god they were drawing straws to see who got me. Ho won. She looked thrilled. A seat came up and I was escorted to it...Ho took my crocs and sox off and had me soak my sooties in they most perfect temperatured water.
As I was getting clipped, Ho was having a bit of a time with one of my Big Toes. She literally had to use two hands on the clippers to liberate the little bugger. Finally it hacked through and went sailing...I shit you not, SAILING through the air and landed in the hair of a woman 3 seats away! Ho looked at me...I looked at her, we both nodded in silence and she went about filing the offending toe. I have to say there were some amazingly beautiful women in there...who instantly took a liking to me. One even struck up a convo with me. We chatted back and forth for a while and I swear she even did the "twirling the hair" thing. She then uttered the words that instantly caused shrinkage - "so does your boyfriend get mani/pedi's too?" I laughed and said "no, I am actually straight." Now, the appropriate response from her would have been "really?" or "sorry" but no she said "oh, my bad...you just looked so gay." Needless to say...I was not inclined to continue our chat. She was done, got up and went to pay. I finished my session and went to pay my bill - $26.00 and come to find out she had paid my tab AND left her number. What a day! I might call.
Let me gear up for more regular posts. Let me talk about a few things...Mani/Pedi's and Patty's.
So'z yesterday I decided was a "me" day. Started off with 6 loads of laundry...been a while for that too! After 4 hours of wash, rinse and repeat I was finally done and STARVING. I thought I'd hit my favorite Brekky spot - The Pine Inn on Polk. Ok, the only reason they are my favorite is because they have hash browns and not under-cooked, paprika colored potatoes and that they serve biscuits and gravy. They do a pretty good waffle too...not one of those Belgian-y air puffs but a real, thin and crispy, nooky and cranny-y honest to god waffle. I normally get bacon...but wanted the other morning favorite - sausage. I love sausage in all forms but I adore sausage patties. I ordered my B & G with hash browns and two eggs, over easy and a sausage patty. "What?', Nancy asked. 'You know, a patty of sausage', I furthered. "Oh, we don't have that." OH NOES! That one refusal led me on a quest for Sausage Patties. I called 15 Breakfast Joints and found only one that served a Patty...but it was a VEGGIE sausage patty! WTF! That is why I implore you to write your local congressman and help me get the return of that perfectly golden brown, greasy patty of porky goodness back on our plates!
Undaunted by my patty-less breakfast I set out to my bi-monthly ablution; my Mani/Pedi. Yes, I get a mani/pedi every 2 weeks. EVERY man should. People hate ugly hands and nails...but moreover EVERYONE hates ugly feet. My usual place was closed for vacation so I decided to try one on Polk and Pacific...Union Nalis.
Well, I guess I was either the first man to ever ask for a mani/pedi there or the biggest man they have ever seen. I am leaning towards the former. This is a big place. 7 Pedi spas and each one had a Mani stand right next to it. All Full. They asked me to sit. I did and instantly 4 of them rose and huddled in a corner occasionally looking back at me. I swear to god they were drawing straws to see who got me. Ho won. She looked thrilled. A seat came up and I was escorted to it...Ho took my crocs and sox off and had me soak my sooties in they most perfect temperatured water.
As I was getting clipped, Ho was having a bit of a time with one of my Big Toes. She literally had to use two hands on the clippers to liberate the little bugger. Finally it hacked through and went sailing...I shit you not, SAILING through the air and landed in the hair of a woman 3 seats away! Ho looked at me...I looked at her, we both nodded in silence and she went about filing the offending toe. I have to say there were some amazingly beautiful women in there...who instantly took a liking to me. One even struck up a convo with me. We chatted back and forth for a while and I swear she even did the "twirling the hair" thing. She then uttered the words that instantly caused shrinkage - "so does your boyfriend get mani/pedi's too?" I laughed and said "no, I am actually straight." Now, the appropriate response from her would have been "really?" or "sorry" but no she said "oh, my bad...you just looked so gay." Needless to say...I was not inclined to continue our chat. She was done, got up and went to pay. I finished my session and went to pay my bill - $26.00 and come to find out she had paid my tab AND left her number. What a day! I might call.
posted by RJ - the Big Magic Fungi at 7:47 PM
1 Comments:
Wow! So did you call? I figure someone who likes you AND can do a mani/pedi--you're in there like super swimwear.
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