When Traveling Abroad...or even as a Man! - Finale
Well, ok...so my blogging skills were not quite up to par to take on a daily update of my activities in Scotland. So here’s a recap of my trip:
Holy CRAP! I love Scotland! First, they will fry anything and they do! Second, Whiskey is cheaper than beer...need I say more? Being the gastronomic daredevil that I am, I took it upon myself to try everything so that you, my discerning public, would be able to share in my successes and failures. Below is a brief list of the highlights and lowlights of my epicurean adventure.
Fish & Chips None better!
Deep Fried Cheeseburger Watch out Whopper!
Deep Fried Pizza Goat Hill has NOTHING to worry about!
Deep Fried Mars Bar& I imagine if you could fry Jesus, he would taste EXACTLY like this
Tattie Dog Hot Dog wrapped in mashed potatoes then deep fried
Haggis Vegetarian is way better than you would think
Scotch Breakfast(My way) One ice cube
Scotch Breakfast(their way) A plate full of salty meats - manna from heaven
Scones Bring me the head of James Beard
Monster Mash They serve bangers and mash from around the globe
Two Thin Laddies Food to die for, staff to lose ones heart to
Piemaker The only place to buy meat pies
Chinese Food Um...no, stick to salty meats
Well Hung Beef Totally as gay as it sounds, but they do meat right...so to speak
Cheese We Americans DO NOT know what cheese is
Ok...enough on the food.
(Sidenote - I actually lost 15 Lbs on this trip)
I have never worked so hard in my life! 8 to 12 shows a day, starting at 11am and ending usually somewhere around 3am. Street shows were mostly kick-ass, had some rain which dampened the spirits but not the fun. One of the best days was during a downpour many of the street performers and stewards were standing in the center of the Royal Mile when Pockets (of Pockets and Fox) busted out his Uke and played a blues riff and we all improv-ed the “Royal Mile, Rainy Day Blues”.
Met some really fantastic performers. James James, what can I say? He has weedled a place in my heart. Susie and Fergus...too god-damned cute for their own good. Pockets and Fox - Edinburgh’s answer to Wayne and Garth - Hard Rock on Ukulele’s. Elaine - the World’s most pierced person. Over 6000 on her body...but only 500 that you can see. Lili La Scala - Brings Diva-dom to a new level. Sophie, straitjackets have never looked so sexy! There are many more...but I could go on for days.
The Venue show - the reason I was there in the first place, was somewhat disappointing. For a show billed as Magic and Comedy, one would think there would be more than 15 minutes of magic in a one hour show; and that time was split between Big Al and myself.
Big Al and I, being who we are...were asked by the venue management to come back next year with our own show. We are seriously considering it.
Thanks to Kitten on the Keys, we were introduced to magician Paul Zenon who had his Marquee de Sideshow set up at the Spiegel Gardens. He took a shine to Big Al and me and asked us to perform in his shows - up to 6 nightly. He then created “The World’s Largest Magic Show in the World’s Smallest Spiegel Tent”, capitalizing on our sizes. We were the hit of the Garden. He also payed us a huge compliment - “ I hate magicians...but I love you guys”. I read minds and Big Al got naked and bobbed for condoms.
We made an impression and helped Paul get his sideshow booked into the Melbourne and Montreal Festivals. Who knows, we may be joining him.
Scotland is a beautiful country with beautiful people and places. I am not one to take photos as I prefer to keep my memories mine. Next year, the camera will come out more - promise.
All in all, this was not a money-making venture...but one that is sure to be done again...and again...and again.
Holy CRAP! I love Scotland! First, they will fry anything and they do! Second, Whiskey is cheaper than beer...need I say more? Being the gastronomic daredevil that I am, I took it upon myself to try everything so that you, my discerning public, would be able to share in my successes and failures. Below is a brief list of the highlights and lowlights of my epicurean adventure.
Fish & Chips None better!
Deep Fried Cheeseburger Watch out Whopper!
Deep Fried Pizza Goat Hill has NOTHING to worry about!
Deep Fried Mars Bar& I imagine if you could fry Jesus, he would taste EXACTLY like this
Tattie Dog Hot Dog wrapped in mashed potatoes then deep fried
Haggis Vegetarian is way better than you would think
Scotch Breakfast(My way) One ice cube
Scotch Breakfast(their way) A plate full of salty meats - manna from heaven
Scones Bring me the head of James Beard
Monster Mash They serve bangers and mash from around the globe
Two Thin Laddies Food to die for, staff to lose ones heart to
Piemaker The only place to buy meat pies
Chinese Food Um...no, stick to salty meats
Well Hung Beef Totally as gay as it sounds, but they do meat right...so to speak
Cheese We Americans DO NOT know what cheese is
Ok...enough on the food.
(Sidenote - I actually lost 15 Lbs on this trip)
I have never worked so hard in my life! 8 to 12 shows a day, starting at 11am and ending usually somewhere around 3am. Street shows were mostly kick-ass, had some rain which dampened the spirits but not the fun. One of the best days was during a downpour many of the street performers and stewards were standing in the center of the Royal Mile when Pockets (of Pockets and Fox) busted out his Uke and played a blues riff and we all improv-ed the “Royal Mile, Rainy Day Blues”.
Met some really fantastic performers. James James, what can I say? He has weedled a place in my heart. Susie and Fergus...too god-damned cute for their own good. Pockets and Fox - Edinburgh’s answer to Wayne and Garth - Hard Rock on Ukulele’s. Elaine - the World’s most pierced person. Over 6000 on her body...but only 500 that you can see. Lili La Scala - Brings Diva-dom to a new level. Sophie, straitjackets have never looked so sexy! There are many more...but I could go on for days.
The Venue show - the reason I was there in the first place, was somewhat disappointing. For a show billed as Magic and Comedy, one would think there would be more than 15 minutes of magic in a one hour show; and that time was split between Big Al and myself.
Big Al and I, being who we are...were asked by the venue management to come back next year with our own show. We are seriously considering it.
Thanks to Kitten on the Keys, we were introduced to magician Paul Zenon who had his Marquee de Sideshow set up at the Spiegel Gardens. He took a shine to Big Al and me and asked us to perform in his shows - up to 6 nightly. He then created “The World’s Largest Magic Show in the World’s Smallest Spiegel Tent”, capitalizing on our sizes. We were the hit of the Garden. He also payed us a huge compliment - “ I hate magicians...but I love you guys”. I read minds and Big Al got naked and bobbed for condoms.
We made an impression and helped Paul get his sideshow booked into the Melbourne and Montreal Festivals. Who knows, we may be joining him.Scotland is a beautiful country with beautiful people and places. I am not one to take photos as I prefer to keep my memories mine. Next year, the camera will come out more - promise.
All in all, this was not a money-making venture...but one that is sure to be done again...and again...and again.
posted by RJ - the Big Magic Fungi at 2:12 AM
0 comments
